Some More Shit

1. Idiots – more often these days, there seems to be an increase in retarded cake bakers walking around talking absolute garbage and passing it off as “being original” or “having a laugh” no, what you are doing is wasting fucking oxygen, its bad enough I have to see your bollocks hairstyle that reminds me of the bad parts of the 80s and your shitty music that has absolutely no substance, come on who gives a fuck about an album with 14 fucking songs about some whiny bitch or some girl they met down the mall? yes, I am refering to teenagers, many nights I lie awake cringing at some of the shit I said when I was a teenager but that was nothing in comparrison to the bollocks they talk now, its a different league all together, its like the genders have combined to form this one ultimate whiny gender all obsessed about their looks and all wearing fucking eyeshadow.
   so lets get this straight kids… talking about random things is not funny ie beans in a hat isnt humouress its bollocks, your music all sucks dick,face it and move on, and make-up is for girls and transvestites not for men, not ever and lastly, shut the fuck up you may have an opinion but its worth precisely fuck all.
2. grainy TV shows depicting todays youth – right lets get this straight shameless is bollocks and so is that other shitty show the guy wrote, if I wanted to see life on a fucking council estate I’d go to the dark parts of manchester and probably get the shit kicked out of me for my troubles, quite why people want to watch chavs on TV when they can
   just look out of their window at 2 in the morning is beyond me, the one time I watched this turd show, the camera kept zooming in all-the-fucking-time and the guy operating the thing, I swear must of been having some form of seizure, I had a migraine after 10 minutes of it. But lets not just pick on shameless (or Feckless as I call it) what about all those shows where 20 somethings hang around together all the time, shag each other and theres always 3 girls and 3 guys, they all look really well groomed and suited up, and they talk in an over exaggerated london/retarded accent and say “yeah” after everything because they don’t actually know how to emphasize things properly, and its all shot scene after scene lots of loud pumping music all the time, always drinking and for some reason all driving around in sports cars, 2 of the guys will live together and most probably all the girls will live together, after all its been written in the bible that is “friends” seriously the american one was fucking bad enough why did we have to go and make it worse by adding londoners to the mix??
3. MoonPig – first of all your cards are shit, who is going to pay a tenner for a fucking personalised card? secondly your company name just makes no sense and has fuck all to do with the crap product you make, thirdly the music you have that repeats the word “moonpig” over and fucking over is the most annoying thing in the world and I sat through the production “stomp” which is 2 hours of people hitting trash cans. could you imagine the people responsible for this bollocks going into the dragons den and pitching this as an idea “we make birthdays cards for a 98% markup and we’re called moonpig, which we thought of whilst eating bacon outside at night” even Peter Jones would declare himself out on that one.
4. Supermodels – these have to be the most miserable looking freaks on the planet and I include myself in that, they look like fucking bruised skeletons, lets face it any men involved with the selection process of these “women” have to be gay, logically I cannot see why anyone would wear anything that makes one of these shadows of human beings look worse than they do, but they manage with the application of makeup and bloody weird clothing even Pat from eastenders wouldnt be caught dead in.
   the last catwalk photospread I saw (in the newspaper) not one of them smiled, they all looked like they habitually smoked crack and got beaten on a daily basis by some effeminate greasy weirdo prima donna. and what about that show “americas next top model” these women go on, they bitch they back stab they starve themselves they cry on camera and why? to be a model! who fucking cares its not noble its not even a job, I’m pretty sure you can make plastic models that look better than their human counterparts, but we panda to these idiots, and we put them on TV and what happens when stuff gets put on TV all the idiots want to emulate them, so what do we get in the end, miserable looking smack addict tramps who will fuck anyone over to get their slice of fame, when really they should do something with some worth.

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