10 New Laws For When I Take Over The World

1. Any Biscuits that are coloured yellow are hereby banned (unless they are party rings).
2. People have to take an IQ test before procreating, I know it sounds abit fascist but more and more I see big fat idiot chav girls with 6 children, the gene pool has been watered down enough.
3. All organised religions are banned, you are allowed to have faith and beliefs but these are to be kept personal and private i.e. no more stopping people in town and door knocking.
4. Bands who get signed are not allowed to write more than 2 songs about the same subject I think we should put an end to the angsty bands that have nothing to say.
5. People will be paid on their worth rather than their status, so for example, the guy who has the skills to make a product will get paid more than the feckless idiot manager, rather than how it is now, in reverse.
6. The only kind of tattoo removal services to be offered by the NHS will be a “crossing out” service, if you were stupid enough to get your chav girlfriends name tattooed on your arm you can fucking pay for the removal.
7. Big Brother is no longer to be shown on TV unless of course the people that are voted out are vaporised. and 80 % of all TV must have actors and a storyline, or be a documentary where the subject is of some scientific worth.
8. Mesa/Boogie Amplification will start charging reasonable prices for their amps, they really take the piss. this goes for all valve amps and valves, there shall be higher production and less mark-up.
9. Comet/Curry’s will all be burnt to the ground preferably with the employee’s locked inside, no store will be allowed to sell known to be faulty goods, and all stores will provide customer care which is more than some dick on the end of the phone saying “I can’t do anything about it” I.e. they will replace an item that has been repaired more than once and repairs will be done within 5 hours of the phone call to the store.
10. Anyone wearing a tracksuit or a cap or has hair which has been shaved to such a fashion that its in gradients are not allowed to have driving lessons, they aren’t allowed within a mile of a car, and anyone breaking this rule will be imprisoned for 10 years. this also applies to people outside Manchester effecting the Manchester accent.

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